


nothing to regret

by steviewrites



Series: jaren [1]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Coming Out, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Halloween, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-22 21:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21083309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviewrites/pseuds/steviewrites
Summary: janis learns to support karen’s choice to come out at her halloween bash.





	nothing to regret

**Author's Note:**

> been a hot sec since i wrote these two! ♡
>
>> **content warnings:**   
bullying mention   
homophobia mention
> 
> [title inspo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgM6k0j5Dzk)

Janis has been seated for approximately three seconds when the orange flyer is being slid onto her desk by a small, not-so-discreet hand.

“Psst,” Cady hisses from the desk right next to her. “Karen told me to give this to you.”

Janis rolls her eyes. She literally was with Karen helping her _make _these invitations yesterday evening. Karen could’ve given her one then, even though it’s already obvious that Janis gets to come.

Sighing, she picks it up to admire their hard work, a solid hour and a half spent browsing the internet for the transparent Halloween doodles that decorate the page. Karen picked the fonts and told Janis what to type, then they printed one and made over a hundred copies at a local store. Janis found it kind of silly, but supports Karen’s efforts to throw the best and most exciting senior year Halloween party North Shore has ever seen.

Janis’s mind drifts to last night, as they stood by the copy machine waiting. It was nice, the quiet store smelling of office supplies. Karen wound her arms around Janis’s waist and put her chin on her shoulder, and Janis smiles now at the memory, wanting to go back and relive it, as simple as it seems.

They don’t have the luxury of doing things like that in public, at least not at school. So any chance they can get to be affectionate, even just for a moment, they’ll take it.

“You’re so in love with her,” Damian remarks, and Janis blushes up to her hairline.

“Shut up,” she grumbles, fidgeting, and ignores the stupid smirk he shares with Cady.

They’re the only two people who know about her and Karen, and sometimes she feels weird about it solely because they’re so damn smug. They knew she liked Karen before she did, practically had to break it to her gently themselves. So they were thrilled when—per their heavy insistence and encouragement—she asked Karen out, probably even more excited than Karen was, which is saying something.

Damian isn’t wrong, though, and that’s why Janis has to bite her cheek to keep from smiling in agreement, because the last thing Janis likes doing is admitting when someone other than herself is right.

But Cady and Damian always are, and it’s a fact she’s trying to come to terms with.

She carefully folds the invite and puts it in her art binder, not wanting to have gay thoughts at quarter to eight in the morning. Her heart is already being dumb and fluttery.

She sees Karen a couple hours later in French, but the extent of their reunion is merely eye contact for an intense few seconds before Janis takes her seat at the back of the room. No good morning kiss, no quick hug. It’ll be hours until Janis gets to catch Karen behind the building and lay one on her to make up for what she can’t do now.

She supposes they’re luckier than couples who don’t get to kiss every day. But it still feels indescribably awful to have to walk past your favorite person like you don’t know them.

Karen peeks at her over her shoulder, pouting sadly, and Janis puckers her lips in a brief little kiss to appease her. She beams then, lifting her shoulders like she always does when she’s happy she received attention, and turns back around now that she’s satisfied. Ahead of Janis, Cady and Damian watch the silent interaction with soft eyes, and Janis flips them off.

When lunch rolls around, Janis is amused to see a good majority of people in the caf are holding the rather obnoxious invitations. She spots Karen and Gretchen passing them out, and there’s a tug on her heart she doesn’t have a name for. Karen is so bubbly and excited, hopping up and down whenever someone presumably says they’ll go. Cady has to pull on Janis’s arm to get her to follow her to the lunch line, and Janis sighs upon having to look away.

“Why don’t you wanna tell people?” Cady inquires cautiously as she peels an orange.

Janis shrugs, munching a tater tot. “We just don’t,” she replies curtly, not wanting to think about it. They’ve discussed it, and while Karen wants to be out, Janis is afraid she’ll be put under fire and the possible scrutiny would damage their relationship. She’s laid awake at night, heart racing with anxiety at all the scenarios that could bloom from going public. She just doesn’t want Karen to get hurt the way she has. Janis has thick skin, she’s tough and could handle it again if she had to; but Karen is tender and sweet, and experiencing that type of bullying is something Janis is trying to spare her from.

Damian shakes his head slightly at Cady when she looks like she’s about to offer some well-intentioned but unwanted advice, so she pops an orange slice into her mouth.

Two forty-five couldn’t come fast enough, and Janis paces the pavement behind the cafeteria as she waits for Karen. The dumpsters sure are a lovely rendezvous point, she thinks as her boot comes down on a crunchy leaf.

Maybe she does want things to be different. But at what cost?

“Baby!” Karen’s voice squeals, running toward her as quick as she can in her two-inch heels, the new ones with the sparkly black bat design.

“Hiii,” Janis laughs, capturing her in her arms and instantly hiding her face in her blonde tresses. Karen smells like vanilla cupcake icing and it’s the best scent in the world.

“I missed you,” Karen says, squeezing the life out of her like they haven’t seen each other in years. For a typical day in high school, it might as well be.

“I missed you, too,” Janis agrees, mumbling into her neck. Karen hums and runs a manicured hand through her hair, and they just stay like that for a long time, the autumn leaves scurrying at their feet.

Janis has to wonder what would happen if someone came around the corner, but remembers it smells too strongly of today’s lunch for anybody other than them to dare come back here. It’s a small sacrifice for good post-school hugs.

When they pull apart, Janis’s hands find Karen’s face and they cradle her jaw to tilt it up, enough for Janis to bring their mouths together softly. It’s a burst of warmth on this otherwise chilly day, and Karen tastes just as sweet as she smells.

They don’t talk; they don’t need to, not right now.

Sometimes kissing your secret girlfriend by the school dumpsters after waiting for hours can be the best part of your day.

For Janis, it’s all that gets her through each week, and supposes even though some good could come from being public, this isn’t particularly bad, either. Karen certainly doesn’t seem to think so. So they’re okay. And Karen will wait for her, too.

* * *

The next day is Saturday, and less than a week til Karen’s party. She wanted it to actually be on Halloween, but her parents put their feet down about it being a school night, so it’s a few days prior. Janis spends the morning on the phone with her, reassuring her people will still come and have fun even if Halloween is five days later.

To make her feel better, Janis finally gives in when she asks if she’ll go costume shopping with her. Janis has no intention of buying one for herself, assuming what she already wears on a daily basis is avant-garde enough to attend a Halloween party. She’ll just plop her pair of Maleficent horns on her head, maybe make her eyeliner extra sharp, and put fake blood on her face. No one will bat an eyelash.

Karen looks extra adorable today in her cozy jeans and cardigan combo, hair braided over her shoulder like she’s a forest princess or something. Janis kisses her long and slow after she climbs into the truck, relieved Karen’s typically nosy mother isn’t home to spy.

Karen has a list of stores she wants to visit, telling Janis Cady helped her locate all the best ones in the area. Some are super far away, but that doesn’t faze Janis, who is considerably less lazy now that she has a reason to drive so much.

Janis follows Karen around their destinations, offering words of support and suggestions for costumes. Karen appears to be intent on finding ones that go together, and Janis gets a funny feeling in her gut that she quickly pinpoints as anxiety.

“Kare, you know we can’t,” she says gently as Karen holds up “sexy” Mario and Luigi for Janis to see in all their feminized glory.

Karen’s face falls, and Janis hates to be the cause of it. But they’ve talked about this at length and Janis is adamant about being private for a while longer. She’s not opposed to it near the end of the school year, because then nothing really matters, but right now just isn’t a good time to handle peer pressure and judgy looks on top of everything else.

“I know,” Karen mumbles, putting the costumes back. She sighs and goes to Janis, who hugs her automatically, and Karen puts her head on her shoulder. “Sorry. I just got excited. We’d look so cute.”

Janis lightly traces a pattern on Karen’s back. “We would. _You _would, especially. You’d look good in anything, though. We’ll find you the perfect costume.”

“What are you gonna be?” Karen inquires, pouting. “I thought maybe that Grim Reaper getup we found would be your first choice.”

Janis laughs out loud. “I’m not that macabre, dearest,” she hums, touching her chin as she plants a short kiss on her lips. Karen rolls her eyes, then gives her another, longer one.

Their pinkies stay linked as they meander around the rest of the store, Karen’s bubble popped now that Janis reminded her they can’t _go _together. Janis feels increasingly guilty the more disappointed Karen grows.

They leave the final store empty-handed, and an uneasy silence fills the cab of her truck when they return. Karen glumly studies her nails, freshly done with Halloween colors.

Janis is about to start the engine when Karen blurts out, “Are you embarrassed by me?”

Janis’s jaw actually drops, her hand frozen on the key. Karen sniffles, visibly trying not to sob, and doubled with the question Janis feels gutted.

“No,” she finally breathes once her voice returns, albeit strained from shock and horror. “No, Karen, of course not. Of course I’m not embarrassed by you.”

Karen swipes at her eyes miserably. “I just want people to know and be happy for us,” she chokes. “It’s not fair. I know you’re afraid of them being mean, and I get why, but I don’t think anyone will.”

Janis sighs stiffly, her chest aching with concern and mild frustration. “You’re probably right, I know things have changed for the better. But a lot of the people you assume will support us are the same ones who didn’t like me for years. So…that’s kinda hard to grasp, you know? It’d feel fake to me, like they’d only be doing it because it’s you.”

Karen frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Janis shrugs. “You’re a Plastic. Or, you were. You’re still pretty popular, though, and everyone likes you.”

“People like you now, too,” Karen mumbles, hurt.

“Not how they admire you,” Janis retorts. “They don’t hate me, but they love you.”

“Then why don’t I come out?” Karen says sharply. “Just me. _We_ don’t need to.”

Janis is speechless again, not having considered that. It always seemed like something she’d be part of—Karen’s coming out, the admission that they’re dating. They go hand in hand, or at least Janis assumed they would.

The realization that Karen doesn’t really _need _her to come out is both painful but true. Karen can come out on her own without mentioning she’s dating Janis, and there’s really nothing Janis can do about it but sit back and support her. The backlash she’s expecting is mostly in regards to the two of them, but it does scare her to imagine Karen being teased or harassed for liking girls. She wouldn’t hesitate to stand up for her in front of people, because that has nothing to do with their relationship status—she just doesn’t want to have to.

But then again, Karen has made a lot of personal progress since last spring, having taken summer classes to improve her grades and discovering the part of herself that lead her to Janis. She did that all on her own, before—and without—Janis. So if this is something she feels she needs to do, that’s her decision. How she comes out and why is her business. And as someone who had that choice violently ripped from her as a child, Janis can’t exactly sit here and tell Karen not to, just because Janis is afraid.

Karen probably is, too. But that’s why her persistence and willingness is nothing short of brave, and Janis sincerely does want her to do what’s right for her.

“Okay,” Janis ultimately rasps, reaching out to brush away stray tears caught on Karen’s lashes, and Karen raises her eyebrows.

“Okay what?” she says, apparently not having been prepared for that response.

Which makes Janis feel even more terrible, but that’s her issue.

“You do that,” Janis tells her. “Come out if you want to. You’re right, it doesn’t have to be about us. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t do that on your own.”

Karen looks confused, but doesn’t negate Janis’s apology. “You think I should?”

Janis nods. “Yeah. If you really wanna. I just worry, that’s all. But if you feel comfortable and if you wanna be out… Then do it.”

Karen scoots over to hug her, nestling her head beneath Janis’s chin. “I love you. That makes me feel super butterfly emoji.”

Janis laughs, though her throat is still tight, but now it’s from pride. “Yeah. Me too, babe.”

* * *

Karen goes out shopping again the following afternoon, this time tailed by Gretchen, who will help keep her focused on finding a costume just for herself. Janis receives plenty of mirror selfies, all of which make her heart leap into her throat no matter the attire.

Ultimately Karen finds something, but of course it’s the one picture she refuses to send. That night when she calls, Janis spends a solid five minutes trying to coax her into dropping hints, but Karen is stubborn and secretive even when Janis uses her pleading voice tactic.

“Nope,” Karen repeats for the fiftieth time. “Not gonna work this time. Like, shushing face emoji, it _has _to be a secret.”

_A lot of things are for us, _Janis doesn’t say, though that’s mostly directed at herself. She sighs and rolls onto her side, facing the window. “Fine,” she grumbles. “I just wanna hype you up. It’s my job as your girlfriend.”

Karen giggles. “You’ll see on Friday. I think you’ll like it.”

Karen could’ve chosen to be Oscar the Grouch, full trash can and all, and Janis would still like it. “I’m sure I will, babe,” Janis assures, suddenly sleepy from her unsuccessful begging.

It gets quiet on both ends for a minute, but not in a bad way. Janis closes her eyes, picturing Karen on her fluffy pink bed, exhausted from her eventful day.

“Did you mean it?” Karen says meekly after a couple minutes, and Janis’s brow furrows. “When you said you weren’t embarrassed.”

“Of course I meant it,” Janis insists immediately. “I love you. I’m…I really am proud to love you and be your girlfriend. I just thought you coming out would mean we’d have to go public, too, but I was wrong for assuming that. But that doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of you, or us. You’re a great person. Plastic or not a Plastic, you are. People know that now.”

“Art freak or not an art freak, you’re pretty great, too,” Karen tells her, and Janis chuckles.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m not as important.” She shrugs. “But like I said, if you wanna come out, you do it. If you think it’ll be good for you, you should do it. That alone has nothing to do with us. And I’m sorry for making it about me, I just…I get scared. And I guess I still don’t completely trust everyone. But I’ll support you. As a friend, obviously.”

“Right, as a _very good friend_,” Karen snickers.

“The best of gal pals,” Janis hums, warmed by the sound of her voice.

“Well, thanks,” Karen murmurs. “And I forgive you. I understand why you’re so unamused emoji,” and Janis has to press her face into her pillow to keep from laughing aloud, “people haven’t been very nice to you… And you know I’m sorry for not doing anything about it.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Janis says quickly, not wanting Karen to feel bad for things that are done and over with. Everybody has moved on, for the most part. The scars Janis bear aren’t fully healed yet, and might not be for a long time, but she isn’t being targeted by Regina anymore. Cady changed a lot, initially for the worst, then for the better.

“It’s not,” Karen whispers regretfully. “So thanks for giving me a chance, I guess.”

“Always,” Janis vows, as cheesy as it feels. But she means it. She let herself fall for Karen, and just got lucky when Karen fell back.

“Okay. Well. Sleeping face emoji, I should go,” Karen sighs, and her sleepy voice is the cutest thing ever. “See you tomorrow. Behind the dumpsters.”

“Mhm,” Janis says, already grinning in anticipation. “I love you loads, Kare Bear.”

“Psh,” Karen scoffs, still smitten over the silly nickname. “I love you, too. Sorry for pressuring you and stuff.”

“You didn’t. But we worked it out. That’s what matters.”

“Yeah. Okay. So we’re okay?”

“We’re okay, baby. Go to sleep. Congrats on finding your costume. Wish I knew what it was.”

“Oh, stop! Be patient,” Karen scolds, but she’s laughing. “Goodnight, JanJan.”

Janis rolls her eyes, but she deserves the retaliation. “Uh-huh. Goodnight. Kiss mark emoji.”

You spend enough time around Karen Smith and you start picking up on her lingo without even realizing it. But Janis wouldn’t have it any other way.

* * *

Janis feels underdressed for the first time in her life. Her idea of a Halloween costume might work for an art freaks basement shindig, but walking into Karen’s elaborately decorated home in just her horns makes her self-conscious.

She automatically clings to the wall, avoiding eye contact with the people already here whose costumes look like they came straight from a Hollywood movie set. Perks of living in a wealthy suburb, she supposes.

She climbs the faux cobwebbed staircase and heads for Karen’s room, needing a breather.

“Babe?” she asks, tapping lightly on the door, only somewhat risking it because everybody is downstairs being chatted up by an already tipsy Gretchen.

“Don’t come in!” Karen’s tearful voice replies, and Janis’s heart nearly stops.

“What’s wrong?” she demands, prepared to bust the door down, not caring if it makes a commotion.

“Just—hang on,” Karen begs, and there’s a tense pause before the door opens and Karen, swaddled in a bathrobe, practically yanks Janis inside by the hem of her jacket.

Janis blinks, startled, then turns to assess her girlfriend for some inexplicable injury. “What is it?” she asks again, wondering what could have possibly happened for Karen to look so distraught.

“My costume,” Karen mumbles, pouting, aggressively tying her sash and folding her arms. She nods to her bed, where a women’s pirate costume is laid out on the duvet. Janis goes over to it, not immediately grasping what the problem is, then sees the botched sewing job on the top and skirt from where Karen evidently tried to repair it.

“It fit when I tried it on!” she whines, plucking at the fabric helplessly. “But I went to get dressed and it ripped up the back, and the tights freaking tore.”

Janis won’t say she’s surprised, since the materials are cheap and Karen may have gotten too excited and forgotten to be gentle. She doesn’t say anything for a minute, inspecting the pieces to see if there’s anything she can do.

“My party is ruined and it’s barely even started,” Karen sobs, finally breaking down and going to sit on the cushy bench at the foot of her bed. Janis follows suit, coaxing her into her arms so she won’t feel alone while the world is ending.

“Nothing is ruined,” Janis murmurs after a minute, and Karen makes a noise in protest. She jostles her shoulder softly. “Hey. Do you really think I’d let your party go to waste?”

“No,” Karen sniffles, and Janis swipes her thumb under her wet eyes when she sits up.

“Right, so, here’s an idea.” And Janis pulls the horns from her head, actually relieved that her scalp can breathe again, and Karen watches in confusion.

“But what are you gonna wear?” Karen ponders, realizing what Janis is doing.

Telling her to stay still, Janis fits the horns on Karen’s head instead, fixing her hair so it blends naturally. “I’m me,” Janis reminds her bluntly. “I don’t think I need a costume.”

Karen smiles tearfully, but her eyes shine with something different entirely.

They sift through her closet in search of things that could go with her makeshift last-minute costume piece. Janis pulls out a corset-esque black top that ties in the back, and Karen grabs a pair of old ripped fishnets she luckily forgot to throw away. Paired with black shorts and the heels she wore the other day, she looks pretty fierce.

“I’m so mad I can’t make out with you right now,” Janis gripes as she does Karen’s mascara.

Karen puckers her newly darkened lips and Janis takes what she can get for now, but fully plans on sticking around after the party’s over. To help clean up, obviously.

“You happy?” Janis inquires while Karen is studying herself in the mirror, looking way better in this teen goth Maleficent getup than as a sexy pirate, in Janis’s opinion.

“Mhm.” Karen nods, situating her hair over her shoulders, then turns to Janis expectantly for the final verdict. Janis hooks a finger in her belt loop to tug her closer, kissing her a little harder than she should, because it leaves evidence on her mouth—but Karen doesn’t care, and Janis honestly doesn’t, either.

“You look amazing,” she whispers, tracing the shape of Karen’s exposed collarbone.

“Thanks. You look good, too,” Karen says, unable to accept a compliment without ensuring the other person feels nice about themselves, too.

The party has picked up downstairs, and they’re going for a parting kiss when Gretchen drunkenly hollers through the door that the guests are waiting for their “sexy” hostess.

Janis possessively squeezes Karen’s hip. “Not fair,” she mutters against her temple, leaving a kiss there before nudging Karen towards the door.

Karen slips out so Gretchen won’t see Janis in bathroom doorway, and Janis grins proudly at the cheering Karen receives upon descending the staircase. She briefly considers just staying up here all night, figuring she could lock the door and watch a scary movie. Big parties aren’t really her thing. But she’s here for Karen—whether anybody knows it or not.

Sighing, she makes her way back downstairs, where the crowd has significantly increased and the music has begun pumping throughout the house. Nobody sees her, for she blends with the shadows, and she people watches for a while, stealing bits of candy here and there from the bowls strewn about.

She smiles whenever she catches a glimpse of Karen, whether posing for selfies with friends or embracing people she hasn’t seen in a while. She looks incredible, and so in her element. Janis’s stomach clenches when she remembers what Karen intends to do tonight, and hopes her truth is well received, that none of their peers turn their backs on her the way they did to Janis.

But Janis tries to draw the line between projecting her experience and simply being a worried yet supportive girlfriend. She takes a deep breath when her mind starts to wander five years back, and instead focuses on the energy in the room now. This is today, and things really have changed. Even though Janis was shunned, things are different now. The Plastics aren’t the only ones who’ve grown.

If Karen has taught her anything, it’s to have a little hope, and look on the bright side. It could go wrong, but it also could go right.

Janis is bravely stepping into the light of the kitchen to get herself a drink when Karen idles up to her, hugging her arm excitedly. “Hi!” she squeals, and Janis nearly drops her cup, eyes growing wide in surprise.

“Hiii,” she says awkwardly, very aware that several people are glancing at them.

“You having fun?” Karen chirps, and Janis just sips her punch with a nod, attempting to look like she barely knows Karen.

Unbothered, Karen leans in to whisper, “I think I’m gonna do it now.”

Janis’s heart stutters then restarts in her chest. “Oh? Okay. Cool.”

Karen beams from ear to ear, a ray of sunshine in the otherwise dimly lit house. She bops Janis on the nose then disappears into the other room, leaving Janis to wonder if she’s supposed to follow. Ultimately she has no choice, for Karen shouts that she has a very big announcement a moment later, and Janis goes with the crowd into the living room.

She laughs into her cup when she sees Karen standing atop the coffee table. A boy next to Janis nudges her and says, “I can’t tell if she’s drunk.”

After recovering from her initial shock that someone finally noticed her, least of all a guy, Janis lifts a shoulder and replies, “Probably not. I think that’s just Karen.”

Karen is hopping from one foot to the other, which Janis would be stressed over if she didn’t know Karen has mastered the art of balancing in heels. She looks so excited, bursting at the seams with her life-changing secret. And it’s then Janis relaxes, lets herself already be filled with pride, because if Karen is confident, so is she.

It’s going to be okay. This is Karen’s moment, and Janis is so glad she gets to choose.

Once her audience is large enough to her liking, Karen motions for everybody to quiet down, and a hush settles around the room. “Okay, so,” she says loudly, and Janis’s heart thumps gently in her chest. “This’ll only take a minute. Now that everybody’s here, I wanted to tell you guys something super cool about me that none of you know!”

Janis releases the breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“It’s really important to me that you guys know, because you’re my friends!” Karen continues, and Janis tries not to snort, because she’s not so sure about that. But, again, it’ll be okay. It has to. Karen knows what she’s doing, what she’s getting herself into. She might not be booksmart, but she’s not totally stupid.

“And since everybody is here,” she carries on, addressing the room like she implicitly trusts each person with this sacred, beautiful knowledge, “celebrating one of my favorite holidays, I figured now would be the best time. And, um, it’s nice to know I’m probably not the only one. Whether any of you have told people yet doesn’t matter, just knowing you’re here somewhere is making this a little easier.”

Janis’s eyes smart with tears, because she’s right. She’s not the only bisexual girl in the room, and Janis isn’t the only lesbian. Kids like them are everywhere, waiting to be seen.

“So,” and Karen takes a long, deep breath, only now starting to look a little nervous, and finds Janis in the crowd over people’s heads. Janis winks at her encouragingly, knowing it’ll be enough, and Karen’s sweet smile returns as she announces boldly, “I’m bi! I like guys _and _girls! And nonbinary people, because they deserve love, too!”

There’s half a second of silence, then the noise erupts, actually startling Janis, but it’s such a wonderful sound. If it shakes her to core, she can’t imagine how Karen is feeling, watching all these people cheer for her. Maybe some are a bit drunk, but the sincerity is still there.

Gretchen stands up on the coffee table to embrace Karen. Janis’s throat is tight as she claps her hand against her cup, feeling like she’s in an alternate universe.

She’s happy, though. For Karen, and anyone else who hasn’t come out yet who gets to see someone so popular be able to proudly share their truth.

Upon stepping down from the table, Karen is embraced and given high fives, and it’s such a dorky movie moment, but Janis is too overwhelmed by relief and pride to laugh.

She migrates to the wall again, assuming Karen will go right back to partying now that that’s done and over with. But then Karen is there, making her way over to her, and their eyes meet in the dark and Karen looks so thankful and ecstatic and in love, and it takes Janis a second to realize what this silent look means: she’s asking permission, wanting to share something else with the world.

Janis is no longer afraid. She loves a girl, and that girl loves her back. That girl just came out to their entire graduating class and was met with uproarious applause.

It’s going to be okay. Most importantly, they will be.

So Janis nods, just slightly, and Karen kisses her. How they’ll explain it later doesn’t matter. But Janis feels safe, for the first time ever, being seen for who she is. Karen clearly is, too, and it’s a moment Janis didn’t realize how much she wanted until now.

“Is that okay?” Karen whispers, their faces mere centimeters apart.

Janis puts her cup down on the table behind her and cradles Karen’s head in her hands, now able to drown out the shouting and music all around them. “Yeah,” she sighs against Karen’s lips, never having been this proud of either of them before. “It’s all okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are fetch ♡
>
>> **find me:**   
[twitter](https://twitter.com/wantingmylove)   
[tumblr](https://cadyjanis.tumblr.com)


End file.
